


Of Doctors and Wizards

by orphan_account



Series: Doctors and Wizards [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, House M.D.
Genre: Chase is 17, Harry Potter Universe, M/M, No Harry Potter characters, Teacher/Student Dynamic, Wizarding School in America
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3505334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Owing a favour to someone is never fun, and particularly so when it's to the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And she thinks teacher and sociopath rhyme. House would have refused, really, if it wasn't for the fact that she had his balls in one hand and his porn collection in the other. </p>
<p>But some students are more interesting then they seem and House finds that he just can't get enough of Robert Chase.    </p>
<p>*There aren't any Harry Potter characters in this fic, it just uses the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chase

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really expecting anyone to notice this fic as the House fandom hasn't really been active in the last few years. I kind of got into it a bit late. If you do read, please drop me a comment or kudos to let me know what you think!
> 
> This fic is set in the Harry Potter universe, which makes it a bit cracky but I think it's an interesting concept.
> 
> IMPORTANT: This is set in America (I'm not actually American so I'm not doing this because I prefer it or anything). This is just because I want to keep the House characters true to their personalities and I felt it would be too hard if set in the UK. It's sort of an American version of Hogwarts, as if the wizards there imitated the famous British school. 
> 
> The first three chapters are told from each of the three duckling's POV. After this the real chapters start.

The Great Hall had fallen almost silent, marred only by the rustle of robes as the students turned to look at each other and then back at the table. 

“Why’s Professor Cuddy taking so long to get back?” Cameron whispered, worried and unable to keep the loaded silence. “Do you think she’s ok?” 

Chase sighed and shared and exasperated glance with Foreman. The dark skinned boy rolled his eyes at him from across the table and patted the fretting girl on the shoulder. “S’ok Cameron, I’m sure wherever she is, Professor Wilson is too,” he reassured, keeping his voice low. 

However the rest of the Ravenclaws seemed to take their prefects talking as the sign that they were allowed to begin gossiping among themselves and soon the entire room was glowing with idle chatter again.  

“The rest of the teachers seem kind of tense, though,” Chase observed, nonchalantly. “Maybe they’re finding the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who was supposed to show up two hours ago?” 

Almost as soon as he finished speaking the grand oak doors swung open and three figures stumbled into the room. They were led by the regal figure of their headmistress and he recognised one of the two men as Professor Wilson, the potions teacher. The other man walked with a noticeable limp and was wearing muggle clothes. Their robes were heavy and clogged with rain water, but not even that could hide the stench of gin on the tall man's shirt and jacket. The three adults walked past the Ravenclaw table, the squelch of the men's boots and the clack of Cuddy's heels echoing throughout the hall. 

Chase looked up and met the man's eyes and froze, trapped. He paused for a minute and Wilson crashed into him with a hiss, which he ignored. He smirked at Chase and broke the eye contact, continuing to travel up the aisle while clearing ogling Professor Cuddy's...

The Australian boy turned around to Cameron and Foreman and frowned, “I hope he’s not the teacher.”

“Why?” she asked, her eyes still following the man. “I’m sure he’s a great wizard.” He could hear a note of hero worship already colouring her voice and he wondered what the guy had done to deserve it. 

“Uh, how do you know that?” he asked. “He stinks of alcohol, they probably found him in some hole in Hatchwold Hill.” 

She rolled her eyes and frowned at him, “Why do you have to be so cynical, Chase? If he wasn’t a good teacher, Professor Cuddy would have never hired him.”

“I don’t remember her hiring any good Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers in the last couple of years,” he replied, slightly amused by her inability to not argue her point. It was one of the traits he admired most about her.  

“You’ve only been in the country for a couple of years, I don’t really think that’s it’s fair if you judge-” 

“I think…” Foreman interrupted thoughtfully, seeming unaware of the pointless bickering he’d just cut through. “I think that’s Dr House.” 


	2. Cameron

“Dr House?” Cameron asked. Foreman was scrunching his brow up slightly, like when he couldn’t remember a difficult test answer. Mind you, it had to be a very hard test for him to not know the answer. Chase looked disinterested, but that was his natural expression so she ignored it, imagining instead that he had a deeply intrigued one. 

“I remember that he’s famous for a lot of things, but I’m sure they’ll explain that in a second. If he’s our teacher then we might actually have a worthwhile year of the subject for once,” he replied. 

Chase’s expression morphed into one of disgust briefly before becoming expressionless again. She wondered if it had anything to do with the alcohol he’d claimed to smell on the man. 

“Good evening,” Professor Cuddy said, interrupting her thoughts. “I would like to apologise for the unusual schedule of this evening and begin with the introduction of new teachers.” Her voice was magically amplified and seemed to bounce off the walls, echoing in an alien way. There was a pause and silence as she undid the charm and bent her head to talk to Dr House. She looked rather irritated and Cameron wondered why the doctor wasn’t cowering by now, she was an intimidating woman. 

“This is Dr Gregory House,” she said finally, her voice amplified again. “I’m sure many of you have heard of him and I’m sure all your parents hold him in high regard… despite other things they might have to say of him. He is trained in both Muggle and Magical medicine as well as serving as an Auror at the U.S. Ministry of Magic. He will be taking over the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and the Advanced Magical Medicine club. Please make him feel welcome.” 

There was loud applause across the tables, especially from the Slytherins, she assumed that he’d been in that house. Cameron noticed that Dr House hadn’t even bothered to stand up and was actually chatting with Professor Wilson as opposed to acknowledging the applause. Professor Cuddy began to discuss other matters regarding the rest of the school year, and she listened attentively. 

However she could feel her friends’ attention waning, Foreman was scuffing his secondhand trainers on the ground and Chase was attempting to chew on his metal spoon. She glanced at Dr House thoughtfully and wondered how it was possible to have such stunning blue eyes.


	3. Foreman

Probably the worst thing about starting a new year was the stupid speech the Cuddy _had_ to give them. He was in his seventh year, for christ’s sake, they knew this stuff. 

“I think Madam Grey will cry if you break your beautiful white teeth again,” he muttered. 

Chase looked at him from across the the table, spoon hanging out of his mouth and grinned. “Y'know Cameron’s actually paying attention.”

As if sensing the unrest in her young audience, Cuddy wound up her speech quickly and announced dessert. 

“Professor House sounds rather special doesn’t he?” Cameron said, beaming at Chase. Foreman found it rather funny, the way that she tried to get an enthusiastic reaction out of the Australian boy.

“Uh, I guess?” he said, looking mildly disturbed. “He seems like a jerk,” he paused to make sure House wasn’t looking at him. “But I’m sure he’s a good teacher,” he concluded neutrally.  

“He won’t be,” Foreman said confidently. “He has no respect for any of us, you saw  how he talked through the applause. And he obviously was trying to skip out on tonight. I’d be surprised if he even shows up to class.” He paused as he took in Chase’s horrified expression. “What?” he asked, turning to Cameron. Her eyes were focused on a point behind his head with a matching expression. 

“Words can hurt, y’know.” 

Foreman turned in his chair to meet the amused eyes of Dr Gregory House. Rather than horror at his impending suspension, he was instead curious to how the man had gotten there so fast. Surely he wasn’t able to apparate in Hogwarts. “I—“ he began.

“And you’re black,” House observed, cutting him off ruthlessly. “I didn’t even know they let your sort into the school.” The boy gaped at him, unable to put together a non expulsion worthy response. The man turned to Cameron and cocked his head to the side, “And you aren’t legal,” he said with a sigh. “Why are you even in school, I’m sure you could be earning millions as a model by now.”

“Am I supposed to be flattered?” she asked, impressively cool. 

He smiled at her response before turning to Chase who had been watching the three of them with wide eyes. “Hm,” he said. “You look like you have a freaky secret.”

“Uh, what?” 

“Oh, British,” he said with a wince. “Poor boy.”

“I’m Australian,” he objected. 

“There’s a difference?” he asked. The rest of the table had turned to watch the exchange with morbid curiosity. 

“HOUSE!”

All four of them flinched simultaneously as Cuddy stormed over. Much to Foreman’s vindictive amusement, the woman grabbed House by the arm and forcefully pulled him away from their table. “First I find you _drunk_ in Hatchwold Hill and now you’re already harassing the students?” she snapped, seeming too angry to keep her voice down. 

“He’s going to murder you,” Chase said, grabbing an apple. 

“Or worse, I’ll be suspended again,” he replied, sighing. And the smug brat had the audacity to laugh at him as he said that. “What?”

“‘Or worse’” Chase parroted, seeming not to be despairing at Foreman’s immanent demise. 

“I don’t actually think he was mad at you,” Cameron said thoughtfully. “I think he was impressed.”

“He was drunk, what’d you expect,” Chase replied. He stood up and stretched, the prefect badge on his chest shined, seeming to mock him. “Cameron, we need to start herding the first years,” he said. “Sorry mate,” he added. “It was nice knowing you.”  

And Foreman couldn’t help but to hate him a little.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments/kudos below! It really encourages a writer. Constructive criticism is very welcome.


End file.
